Goose juice

I don't remember when my affection for juice started but because it's a dietary staple for me I thought I'd share my best recipes (a.k.a. the only three I know how to make). I don't have a juicer and instead use a Vitamix which is quite amazing in its own right, but it does require an extra step that juicers don't: you have to strain the juice from the pulp. I bought it over a juicer because it's able to make nearly everything you could possibly ask a blender to make and, after a little research, I realized juicers come with 14349871 parts that would need to be cleaned and most of them by hand. Dying from botulism contracted from an unclean juicer isn't high on my life list, so the Vitamix won (also, this sucker cleans itself which is some kind of ever-loving miracle if there ever was one). That's my two cents on why I prefer a very fancy blender over a juicer, and thus concludes First World Problems by Kelly. On to the recipes!

Green Goose Juice*
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 bunch of kale
1 large handful of spinach
1 green apple
2-3 stalks of celery
1 lime, juice only

Orange Goose Juice 
1 1/2 cups water
4-5 whole carrots, peeled
2-3 medium golden beets, peeled
1 red apple (I use Honeycrisp)
1 lemon, juice only

Red Goose Juice 
1 1/2 cups water
2-3 medium red beets, peeled
1 medium cucumber
1 red apple (I use Honeycrisp in this, too)
1 large handful of spinach
1 lemon, juice only
1 tsp. cayenne pepper, or to taste

The directions for all three are the same. Wash all ingredients and chop them into pieces. If you're using a Vitamix, a good rule of thumb to use is the hole on the top of the lid - if it fits in the hole it's good to go. I didn't mean it to come out sounding like that, but there it is: life lessons a la juice. Another tip is to blend everything in stages. I add the water first with one or two ingredients, blend them and then continue adding until everything is in the mix. Doing it in stages also makes for a smoother consistency.

After everything is blended, I use a nut milk bag to strain the juice from the pulp. Wear a latex glove while you strain it or invest in a nail brush because it can stain your skin and nails, especially the red juice (not that I know because I walked around one Saturday looking like I had recently blood let an animal or anything). Each recipe above yields anywhere from 24-30 ounces so I use a small baking bowl to catch all the juice and then pour it into Ball canning jars to store.

Drink in good health and enjoy!

*Erik nicknamed me "goose" a long time ago - so long I can't even remember why or how it started. That's the story behind the name. No animals were harmed in the production of this juice. 

April in photos

++ If you'd like to follow along, find me on Instagram: kaymbee ++

What the what, how is it May? Thank you, thank you to all of you that are following along with this little project of mine over on Instagram. You make me happy.     

Here's January | February | March. 

Wine, windmills and wooden shoes

Last week was my 30th-2 birthday and our first wedding anniversary so Erik and I packed our bags and told our GPS to take us to Santa Barbara. A few years ago, Erik went wine tasting in the area with a few friends and wanted to show me his favorite spots. He also wanted to show me Solvang, a little Danish village complete with windmills, wooden shoes and as many bland carbohydrates coated with sugar and syrup as your pants could possibly dare you to consume. It's kitschy as all get out, but I couldn't help but feel a small sense of kinship because the people that built this city are my people. Ok, technically, they're my people's neighbors but my understanding of Scandinavia is that it's rather congenial between the countries. 

We visited two wineries in the Santa Ynez valley and one tasting room in Los Olivos and let me say this: as a non-wine drinking person that thinks red wine tastes like batteries or rubbing alcohol or Something Generally and Entirely Gross, I now get it. Or, at least I get it at the $55+/bottle mark. In other celebratory news, Erik finally - finally! - changed his opinion about Dave Matthews Band and officially now calls himself a fan. And that, my friends, is the best birthday/anniversary gift that man could ever give me.

Thirty minus two

It's my birthday and because it is such, I'd like to have a few words with my twenties. Today I turn 28 years old which means the only thing that stands between me and my 30th birthday is 730 days and an ability to successfully avoid major natural disasters, mountain lions and also anything else that might try to kill me. You're on your way out twenties, and good riddance to you! I know a great many people that relish you; that spend inordinate amounts of time well after you have left them trying to recreate the hair or the (general lack of) emotional maturity or the drinking capacity they had with you in an attempt to win you back. Not me. I cannot wait to close the book right in your snotty little face. Why, you ask? Because, twenties, you've been pretty awful to me. Just a real jerk of a decade, through and through. Do you want to know what the worst part of you is, twenties? I'll tell you. The worst part is that I started having an existential crisis back in high school so I can't even use that as a way to pass the time until you finally scram. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with 28? I'm standing here looking at it, scratching my head and waiting for it to do a trick or something. Is this your idea of a good time, twenties? To leave a legacy of angsty individuation that bleeds into a slow approaching horror of gravity and the many indecent things its doing to my body?

I'll admit we had a few good moments (usually involving or necessitated by alcohol), but let's be honest with one another, shall we? I've outgrown you. We were star crossed lovers from our beginning, destined to be enemies - always going for the jugular. You've put up a good fight, really you have, but the time has come to lay down our swords and go gently into that good night. I mean, we can certainly agree that being "Forever 21" sounds like one of Dante's circles of hell. Except with more tribal prints and ill-fitting jumpers. Listen, I've heard all about 30. And from what I gather it's pretty banging. We both know that 30 and I belong together and we have for some time now. We both know that when I'm 30 I'll feel like a true blue version of myself. We just makes sense, 30 and me. Like peas and carrots. Like black and white. Like an actualized individual and sensible footwear.

So, go ahead, twenties. Start packing your things because your days are officially numbered. There are plenty of other people at the mall you can seduce into buying that tribal print jumper. I promise.

Stanley Kubrick exhibit

| Stanley Kubrick's viewfinder | an original costume from Spartacus | Full Metal Jacket director's script and costume pieces | 35mm Arriflex camera used in A Clockwork Orange and Eyes Wide Shut |

| "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." typewriter from the The Shining |

 | The Grady twin's dresses from The Shining | costume mock-ups from 2001: A Space Odyssey | original ape suit from 2001: A Space Odyssey | 2001: A Space Odyssey exhibit room |

A few photos from the Stanley Kubrick exhibit at the LACMA. I wish I had taken so many more photos but the volume of personal effects, photos, equipment and props was almost overwhelming. If you have a chance to go before it closes in June, do it.

PS - how creepy is it that those dresses don't hang straight on the wall? Blerg blah ahhh tingles.

PPS - as we were walking out, Erik spotted Zach Woods who played Gabe on The Office sitting at the outdoor cafe outside the museum. It's never not strange to spot an actor doing normal human stuff.

March in photos

++ If you'd like to follow along, find me on Instagram: kaymbee ++

The month of March is officially ended and with it, one quarter of my year long, photo-a-day project. One quarter! That's no joke. 

Here's January and February.

A meaty squeeze

Have you ever met a person that, if you borrowed their toothpaste and didn't roll the tube up from the bottom, they'd be upset? Quietly upset, of course - they would never tell you so - but at dinner parties and coincidental running-intos, you'd be on the receiving end of their disdain. They'd politely exchange pleasantries and give the impression of being glad to be seeing you, but you'd know it was merely a putting on. This is the type of person you'd otherwise want to spend a great many nights with, two bottles deep in some chewy merlot. A person that you'd imagine would make the perfect travel companion in Europe because they'd mysteriously know all the best places the locals go. A person that always seems to be able to pull off a scarf and a hat at the same time. Alas, those glasses of wine will never be drunk and that trip to Europe will never be taken all because of you and your unrefined oral hygiene habits. All because you took a meaty squeeze right from the center of their tube of Colgate Plus Baking Soda toothpaste.

I met a person like that today.